The Loss of Sunshine
by GhostiesandGhoulies
Summary: Donatello is brought to the realization that even he cannot fix everything and never had the truth hurt so much when it applied to his little brother. Why was his best not good enough? Why couldn't he save Michelangelo? Short one-shot. Rated T to be extra safe.


**Fair warning, this will probably end up being terribly sad. It came to me while listening to sad music. I hate to even write it but I must free it from my mind. If you're sensitive to sad writings, might wanna snatch a few tissues.**

**TMNT belongs to Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird.**

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Donatello listened to the dull beeping from the nearby heart monitor, the only sign that his little brother was still living. That terrible feeling of helplessness and guilt had once more settled into his stomach. It made him feel ill. The lump in the back of his throat wouldn't go away. He hated feeling powerless.

Giving a shaky sigh he gently grabbed the other's hand with his own, resuming the post he had taken up over the past week or so. Time was irrelevant to him anymore, everyday he'd wake up from a restless night of sleep and immediately go to Michelangelo's side. The sound of the heart monitor was his reassurance, so long as it kept beeping, his brother remained living.

The technological inclined turtle felt the self hate come into his system once more, he was absolutely useless. He could fix any piece of technology thrown at him, invent things no one had ever thought of, build machinery from scratch, he could even pass as a doctor if he wanted. But all of that and he couldn't save his little brother. He was useless... the one thing he desperately felt the need to fix, the thing he had to fix, and he could do absolutely nothing but watch as the other died. A small voice in the back of his tried to console him in saying that he had done the best he could, that there were some things even he couldn't fix. He ground his teeth together in frustration, his best wasn't good enough.

The twitch of a finger in his grip alerted him instantly, his gaze shot to Mikey's face in hopes there would be some sign of wakefulness. The younger turtle hadn't been conscious for four days and had slipped into a coma-like state. All the while his health had been on a steady decline, deteriorating to a point where death was all too close. It was terrifying.

A rise of hope swelled within him as he saw his younger brother's brow furrow. Then, a miracle. Those soft, baby blue eyes he and the rest of the family had yearned to see opened once more to the world.

"Donny...?"

He gave a choked sob at the sound of the other's voice, oh how he'd missed it. "Hey Mikey," he cooed with a tearful smile, "it's so good to see you awake... I was really worried for a bit there.."

Mikey looked a bit confused by the news but accepted it, "W-Where are the others?"

"I don't know," Don replied honestly, "they were here waiting for you to wake up but they all left a little bit ago.. I had to stay here."

The younger gave a small sign of acknowledgement and shifted slightly, frowning as only his top half moved. "So.." he rasped, "that wasn't a dream then.."

Donatello bit his lip and looked away with a remorseful expression, "No... I'm so sorry Mikey. I did what I could bu-"

"Relax Donny," Mikey chided softly, "you did the best you could. Even I know that."

The self hate reared its head again and the purple banded turtle gave a bitter scoff, "My best isn't good enough.. I can't do anything..." Again his inner voice reminded him that paralysis was rarely, if ever, a fixable situation regardless. He shoved the voice aside angrily, self pity taking over his senses. He was utterly surprised when he was flicked in the forehead. He gazed down at the other in confusion.

Blue eyes rolled in exasperation, a small smile in place, "Idiot.. I dunno about you but I consider the Battleshell, our T-phones, the security system in the lair and all the other stuff you've done _something_. Maybe you're not as genius as you seem."

"He's right y'know," a gruff voice sounded from the doorway.

Don turned while Mikey looked on curiously. The latter broke into a smile upon seeing the figure standing there, "Raphie!"

Said turtle emerged from the shadows and gave a hesitant smile himself, "Hey Mike, good to see ya up again." The elder's brown eyes were red rimmed, tear tracks evident on his face. The situation at hand had taken its toll on all of them, especially with the information Donatello had revealed only the other day.

The youngest looked shocked, "Not even commenting on the nickname, I'm impressed Raphie," he commented weakly.

Raphael rolled his eyes and lightly patted the other on the head, "Whateva ya say knucklehead."

"Hey Donny," Michelangelo called quietly, "when am I gonna get better?"

In was such an innocent question but it broke both Don and Raph's hearts.

Raph cleared his throat and mumbled something about going to get Splinter and Leo, quickly leaving soon after.

Donatello took a shuddering breath and grasped his younger brother's hand carefully, as if he were holding a piece of fine glass. He knew he would have to say it eventually and had tried to prepare himself but it hadn't made it any easier. How were you supposed to tell your brother he was dying? "Mikey..." he began, voice thick with emotion, "it's.. it's not exactly the question of when you'll get better b-but.." He took another fluttering breath, fighting his body's urges to start crying again, "It's a question of i-if..." He looked away, not being able to see the other's face. "I've tried... everything M-Mikey.. really," he explained quietly, "but I... I just c-can't... I can't do anything." He was shaking now, he hated this. Why did if have to be this way?

Images of the rooftop battle they had been involved in that fateful night flashed before his eyes. If they had only watched more, if they had only been more careful then maybe Mikey might not have fallen from the roof alongside the three ninjas beside him. He might not have become paralyzed from the fall, he might not be in pain with wounds that Don could not heal. If they had only been more cautious, maybe Mikey wouldn't be laying on that bed dying right in front of their eyes.

Nearby, the heart monitor began showing a slowing heart beat.

Mikey's hand tightened around his own, "S'okay Don," he said tiredly, "you did your best.." While his brother hadn't said it directly, he understood the fact that he was dying. He wasn't stupid, he knew that something was wrong. He might not have guessed his fate would be so drastic but he had definitely known. Even as he spoke he felt his remaining energy wane. "Y'know I love you right Donny," he asked innocently in his quiet voice.

The other broke into sobs then, "Y-Yeah Mikey... I know.. I love you too l-little brother..." He gripped onto the other's hand like it was his lifeline and perhaps it was. The only thing that kept him from breaking completely, the fact that his brother yet lived. How long was questionable, if he had done his math correctly and he usually did, it wouldn't be long. Perhaps another day or so. The thought was like a plague to him, he avoided thinking about it as much as possible and yet it mocked him, tortured him.

"Tell the others I love them too," the younger continued in a murmur.

Don's eyes widened and he began shaking his head, tears dripping down his cheeks, "D-Don't you dare Michelangelo... Don't you d-dare say goodbye.. Not yet, p-please!" His other hand had went to the orange banded turtle's cheek in desperation and he realized there were tears on his cheeks too. He gave a few sobs, "P-Please.. just hang in t-there Mikey..." His thoughts raced with possible solutions to stop the problem, what could he do?

His bright blue eyes looked up at him tearfully, a broken smile on his face. "Don't forget me okay," he whispered, breathing becoming seemingly harder.

"Never," the elder breathed through his tears, his own heart beat pounding loudly in his ears out of pure fear.

Time seemed to slow as the younger gave another smile and then his eyes slid shut for the last time. The flat line of the heart monitor broke the relative quiet of the room.

Donatello shook his head rapidly, "No... no no no NO! MIKEY!" Heavy sobs wracked his body as he practically collapsed on the other's body. He squeezed the limp hand in his grasp tightly, refusing to believe it was true. "M-Mikey please," he begged, choking on his own sobs, "p-please come back..!"

The door burst open and with it Leonardo, Splinter and Raphael. Their eyes took in the sight before them disbelievingly.

Raph looked from the flat heart rate to the bed and then gave an agonized roar, collapsing to his knees beside the bed with tears running down his face.

Leo moved forward as well in complete shock as he took in the scene before him. It couldn't be true... Not his little brother.. Tears came from his eyes as he collapsed beside his red banded brother. He gathered the other in his arms, trying to calm the other but he was failing to calm himself.

Splinter approached the bed slowly and laid a paw on his late son's forehead, "May you be at peace and free of pain now.. my son. I shall miss you dearly Michelangelo.." He shut his eyes and turned away, heart not being able to bear the sight of his youngest laying there so motionless.

The broken family mourned the loss of their sunshine. The one who had always joked and brought smiles to their faces, the one who had lived happily and confidently. Their precious Michelangelo was gone.

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**Well that was depressing. I almost feel like it should be longer. Maybe I can make it as such if enough people wish it of me. This was just something I came up with in my head. There can be more. Sorry if it saddened you!**

**R&R if you so wish.**


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